lyrics for today: 'pretty in pink' the psychedelic furs

caroline laughs and it's raining all day
she loves to be one of the girls
she lives in the place in the side of our lives
where nothing is ever put straight
she turns herself round and she smiles and she says
'this is it, that's the end of the joke'
and loses herself in her dreaming and sleep
and her lovers walk through in their coats

she's pretty in pink
isn't she
pretty in pink
isn't she

all of her lovers all talk of her notes
and the flowers that they never sent
and wasn't she easy
and isn't she pretty in pink
the one who insists he was first in the line
is the last to remember her name
he's walking around
in this dress that she wore
she is gone
but the joke's the same

pretty in pink
isn't she
pretty in pink
isn't she

caroline talks to you softly sometimes
she says 'i love you' and 'too much'
she doesn't have anything you want to steal
well, nothing you can touch
she waves
she buttons your shirt
the traffic is waiting outside
she hands you this coat
she gives you her clothes
these cars collide

pretty in pink
isn't she
pretty in pink
isn't she

laura f

something i wrote about a year ago:

*~musings over a strawberry soda pop afternoon~*

09*01*01


i am stuck on the wall,
i am stuck on your wall,
stuck on the sole of your shoe,
stuck on all that is you.

and i wonder if i will wear down, fade,
peel off in pieces, long and slinking,
the kind that are so fun to peel, so hard to resist,
that damage.

i think i will blend in with the pavement,
pieces of me weaving into the rug, vacuumed up, swept into a dustpan,
drove over and over again,
the dirty kind of clean of this world going by.

or maybe you'll call me art,
put a frame about me, show your friends,
say "look at this i have, she just sits. never moving. never leaves."

and they will come with their "oohs" and their "ahhs",
never really seeing me.

i guess i could just hitch a ride on a passing tire,
travel route sixty-six,
mile ten,
highway eighty.

stop at a roadside attraction,
eat baby ruths, drink great grape slushies,
meet a few "stuck on you" friends along my way.

stuck,
hmmmm, maybe i'm not even stuck, per say,
maybe i'll grow wings,
maybe i'll run away,
or hitch a ride on a star.

fly on out to amsterdam with a guitar,
a pair of blue boots,
and no memory to auction away.

the air is ripe with freedoms,
wrong turns, miscalculations.

the earth lined with pot holes, handcuffs,
polka-dot condoms, marriage vows.

my head is full of dips and dives,
make-up tips, ious and me,
wallpaper paste,
bubble gum giveaways,
and a portion of my soul,
still stuck on with you.

always stuck right onto you.

laura f

quote of the day: from 'traveling mercies' (anne lamott)

"my coming of faith did not start with a leap but rather a series of staggers from what seemed like one safe place to another. like lily pads, round and green, these places summoned and then held me up while i grew. each prepared me for the next leaf on which i would land, and in this way i moved across the swamp of doubt and fear. when i look back at some of these early resting places i can see how flimsy and indirect a path they made. yet each step brought me closer to the verdant pad of faith on which i somehow stay afloat today."

from the coupland mailing list:
my 10 summer jeopardy categories:

my top 10 summer jeopardy catagories:

1. veronica (my new daughter, born june 28).
2. two months of not going to work, yes, i couldv'e gotten used to that.
3. trip back home to california, not as issue-filled as anticipated.
4. i miss caffeine.
5. 101 ways to make a new baby smile.
6. the (re)discovery of root beer.
7. margaret cho (love her too much for words).
8. unexpected new friends are the best (julia + sarah).
9. damn good summer reading: 'namedropper' emma forrest, 'kitchen' banana yoshimoto, 'norweigan wood' haruki murakami + 'rules of attraction' bret easton ellis.
10. 'six feet under'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

laura f

lyrics for today: 'moonchild' cibo matto

moonchild still lives in my heart.
can i ask you something?
is your life better now?

sometimes i feel you're sitting next to me and listening to my stories
time always shows me it's hard to understand how to be myself

moonlight dries your tears, moonlight hides your fears

sometimes i feel you're smiling at me and telling me your memories
tide always moves fast
can you tell me how to find words inside a shell?

laura f

keen website of the day: http://adbusters.org/home/

kick ass website. makes me feel even more dirty for working in advertising.

laura f

lyrics for today: 'androgynous' the replacements

'androgynous'
the replacements

here comes dick, he's wearing a skirt
here comes Jane, y'know she's sporting a chain
same hair, revolution
same build, evolution
tomorrow who's gonna fuss?

and they love each other so
androgynous
closer than you know, love each other so
androgynous

don't get him wrong and don't get him mad
he might be a father, but he sure ain't a dad
and she don't need advice that's sent at her
she's happy with the way she looks
she's happy with her gender

mirror image, see no damage
see no evil at all
kewpie dolls and urine stalls
will be laughed at
the way you're laughed at now

now, something meets boy, and something meets girl
they both look the same
they're overjoyed in this world
same hair, revolution
unisex, evolution
tomorrow who's gonna fuss?

and tomorrow dick is wearing pants
and tomorrow janie's wearing a dress
future outcasts and they don't last
and today, the people dress the way that they please
the way they tried to do in the last centuries

laura f

from word of the day - decimate:

'the game'
09/17/02

the day begins early, sun slowly creeping up the sides of morning,
he reaches into the closet of suspicions, to the top shelf,
on tip-toes to reach all that hidden doubt, covered in dust and decay.

we sit at the table, facing each other, covered in sweat and bruised egos, denial.
breakfast toast and tea, a cup of coffee, this is what should spread in front of us, us two.
but instead it is this troubled board game, bored game, and he hands it to me,
the 3-year sided dice to roll.

roll away, spin the bottle, the charts, the lines.
he decimates me with his language, the words and meanings, his go to jail demands.
i pass go, without my pay, or justification. i run the circles of this game with him, without a pass, bankrupt already.
we shuffle the children, the cable television, hand-holds and kisses goodnight,
now it's his turn, now it's mine.

our turns run into nothing at all. nothing at all. nothing. roll again.

the sun starts to make it's decline, alone, the night sky turning black and blue.
we should be dancing, making love, sharing our day and plans, reading each other's book with our eyes.
but he wants one more turn, one more run, one more roll of the dice.
he wants to win more than he wants this, the game is slowly taking over. my silence is the endings.

but we keep playing.

laura f

quote of the day: tori amos, q magazine, may 1994

"there is room for everybody on the planet to be creative and conscious if you are your own person. if you’re trying to be like somebody else, then there isn’t."

laura f

i feel a bit drained today.
it's nearing the end of the week. that could be some of it.
lack of sleep is always a culprit, too.
i feel emotionally drained, as well as physically.
things are smoother right now, but nowhere near solved.
sometimes i can push it out of my mind. sometimes i just can't.
today i'd like to hike up to the top of a mountain and find a big, friendly tree to sleep below.
there are so many gorgeous trees here in michigan.
different than california (though the redwoods are spectacular, and i do miss palm trees).
i walk veronica outside everynight at dusk and we talk to "friend trees".
she reaches up and feels the leaves, as the wind lightly caresses her baby cheeks.
julia asked why we talk to the trees, with a bit of that eye-roll, "oh mom" kind of look.
but she goes out there with us. does cartwheels and handstands. tells me how her day was.
i'd take those girls of mine with me to the mountain, too. another time. when i didn't want to sleep there.
we could lie on the grass and find cloudy shapes. tell them to veronica. and let her meet new trees.
julia could sing. or jump. or just roll her eyes at me.
anything at all. just us. on a mountain. with friend trees.

laura f

keen website of the day: http://www.christad.homestead.com/

new artist discovery. yay. i especially like 'plain jane' + 'emerald city'

laura f~*

lyrics for today: 'displaced' azure ray

it's just a simple line
i can still hear it all of the time
if i can just hold on tonight
i know that nothing
nothing survives
nothing survives

i think i'm turned all around
i'm looking up
not looking down
and when i'm standing still
watching you run
watching you fall
fall into me

am i making something worthwhile
out of this place
am i making something worthwhile
out of this chase
i am displaced
i am displaced

and she's my friend of all friends
she's still here when everyone's gone
she doesn't have to say a thing
we'll just keep laughing
all night long
all night long

am i making something worthwhile
out of this place
am i making something worthwhile
out of this chase
i am displaced
i am displaced

it's just a simple line
i can still hear it all of the time
if i can just hold on tonight
i know that no one
no one survives
no one survives.

laura f

quote of the day:

local radio dj, september 11, 2002, 7:50am.

"we just had word from the local hospital that five babies have been born already this morning. something to warm us today. new life."

hard to know what to say today. what to feel.
in some ways this is a new day.
veronica woke up earlier than usual. before 4am.
and though i was tired, her smile and laughter just gave me such a lift.
and julia, trying to make something happy out of the day.
"i think we should be happy that we all are here. and that it is maranda's birthday."
maranda is her best friend.
it is her birthday today.
the second year in a row of having her birthday surrounded by sadness.
that makes me sad, too.
i guess, for me, i want to feel hopeful today.
i want to surround my family with happiness and love.
and maybe that offends people. that i can smile today.
maybe it is inappropriate.
but it is what i choose to do today.
even though i know the sadness, too.

laura f~*

lyrics for today: 'this woman's work' kate bush

pray god you can cope.
i stand outside this woman's work,
this woman's world.
oh, it's hard on the man,
now his part is over.
now starts the craft of the father.

i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.
i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.

i should be crying, but i just can't let it show.
i should be hoping, but i can't stop thinking.

of all the things i should've said,
that i never said.
all the things we should've done,
that we never did.
all the things i should've given,
but i didn't.

oh, darling, make it go,
make it go away.

give me these moments back.
give them back to me.
give me that little kiss.
give me your hand.

i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.
i know you have a little life in you yet.
i know you have a lot of strength left.

i should be crying, but i just can't let it show.
i should be hoping, but i can't stop thinking

of all the things we should've said,
that we never said.
all the things we should've done,
that we never did.
all the things that you needed from me.
all the things that you wanted for me.
all the things that I should've given,
but i didn't.

oh, darling, make it go away.
just make it go away now.

laura f~*

so, i actually am in a good mood today. something that seemed rather rare, as of late.

last night dave and i went out together, for the first time since veronica was born (and the first time *way* before that even). it was a really good time, and i think it made a big difference between us.

at first i didn't want to go. i was still pretty upset about everything that had been going on between us, and had a headache all day. i felt like i didn't really want to be out with him at all. but then i thought about it, and figured out that i should give it a chance. see what happens (whatever happens, happens - obmscl)

we met up with dave's friend tim, and his new girlfriend, julia, in ann arbor. another thing i wasn't sure i wanted to do, as anyone who knows me knows i've had issues with tim for along time.

but, i'm really glad i decided to go.

first off, julia is great. funny, adorable, great taste in music and movies, and she doesn't take any crap from tim. she is someone that i can totally see being friends with. we actually ended up trading books with each other -- she let me borrow a book called 'geek love' (about a family of circus freaks)
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0375713344/qid=1031683858/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_1/103-2742930-0031834?v=glance&s=books

and i let her borrow 'namedropper'.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0684865386/qid%3D1031683889/sr%3D11-1/ref%3Dsr%5F11%5F1/103-2742930-0031834

we talked about 'six feet under', 'psycho beach party' (hi brooks), we were quoting 'say anything' and 'chasing amy' and sharing our "we used to be duran duran fanatics" stories. she is going to be hedwig for halloween -- if that's any sign to how cool she is. yay. new friends.

we all ended up going to see the movie '24 hour party people' http://us.imdb.com/Title?0274309
at the michigan theatre http://www.michigantheatre.org/
(which is just an amazing place!). it is this documentary style film about the manchester music scene in the late 70s - early 80s and the music producer/club owner who helped discover bands such as joy division/new order, happy mondays, etc. and help bring to life the club/rave culture in manchester, england. the film has great live footage of siouxie and the banshees, the sex pistols, new order, joy division, happy mondays, etc. the story is interesting -- especially if you are a fan of that music scene/time and it is told with wit and originality. i really liked it, though i don't know that it is a film that everyone would like. byron, i think you would definately like it.

afdterwards we went to the blind pig http://www.blindpigmusic.com/index.html
where it was free to get in/karaoke night. we watched a bit of the karaoke, but then decided to go downstairs to the eight ball (which is the small bar below). there we found a table and talked for hours. and people watched.

victoria will love this: there was a angelina jolie lookalike girl there. she is gorgeous. she looks like angelina 'playing by heart'-era, when she wasn't so super thin. every guy in the place was drooling over her as she walked across the bar. literally falling over and staring at her. and she walks right up to this red haired girl, sitting at the bar, and they start totally making out. it was priceless to see the looks on the guys faces. and they were very adorable, the two girls, the rest of the night, too. for a moment, i thought it was vic and angelina. tee hee.

we met a lot of julia's friends. warren, a very cute gay boy artist, who showed us his notebook of amazing sketches. matt, who is the manager of the eight ball, who is going to try to get dave a job there today (yay!) and a few others.

after that, we walked around ann arbor and looked in all the windows. we all ended up singing and dancing on the sidewalk, being super silly.

dave and i drove home and really talked. he seemed to listen, too, which hasn't been happening a lot lately. we ended up staying up until 3am talking. it felt good -- even though i'm quite exhausted today.

yay for good things to write.

laura f

i feel really sensitive today. overly-so, i think.
and defensive.
maybe it's vulnerability.
i feel like i've been opening up vaults inside of me. letting my thoughts and feelings trickle out.
wearing them for others to see.
i think i need to open up. but i feel fear clasping around me, like a child's glove on adult hands.
i've gotten used to keeping to myself. keeping so much within myself.
the last few years i've really withdrawn, more than i realized -- even.
so this opening of my inner doors, it leaves me feeling all these things.
i feel like i'm wound a bit too tightly. like so much of me is ready to snap.
to cry. to scream. something.

i know i'm feeling deeply dissatisfied with parts of my life.
that is a huge thing to realize. to look at.
and i'm still feeling a tremendous loss of not being home with veronica.
i keep trying to pretend i don't feel it. i keep thinking it will go away.
but it doesn't.

i sat and watched her last night. saw that she is bonding so closely with dave's grandmother.
and it makes sense. she is with her all day long, five days a week.
but it hurt. i felt jealousy creep in. i want that connection between the two of us.
and it is selfish, in a way. i don't want her not to be connected to his grandmother.
but, i don't want her to lose the bond she has with me.

and these feelings, they keep me running around like crazy. trying to squeeze in every moment with her. and with julia.
trying to compensate for having to be gone so much. trying to make up for things.

i feel really lonely, too.
again, more than i have let myself realize.
last night i sat on the couch so filled with frustration and sadness and anger and jealousy and confusion. and happy things, too.
i wanted to be able to share them with someone. to be able to sit and talk. to have someone listen, and share back.
and i tried to talk to dave. tried to just share how i was feeling. and it just wasn't happening.
he was drifting off. not completely paying attention. and then just getting upset that i was "stressing him out" or that what i was saying were things he can't fix right now.
the thing is...i didn't want them fixed. i just wanted him to be a friend to me. to listen. and to share how he felt.

that shouldn't be so much to ask.

laura f

keen website of the day: http://www.venuszine.com

i discovered this magazine quite by accident, + ended up ordering the summer/fall 2002 issue.
i love it. great articles. weblinks. photography. art.
the most eclectic + unusual subjects. awesome music coverage.
the things i found most intriguing about the issue i have:
interviews with sleater-kinney, photographer astrid kirchherr (obbackbeat), kim gordon (+ photos of her house in northampton, mass), the breeders, beth orton + neko case.

good stuff.

laura f

lyrics for today: 'pale september' fiona apple

pale september, i wore the time like a dress that year
the autumn days swung soft around me, like cotton on my skin
but as the embers of the summer lost their breath and disappeared
my heart went cold and only hollow rhythms resounded from within
but then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full
and sank in the burrows of my keep

and all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
and my winter giving way to warm, as i'm singing him to sleep

he goes along just as a water lily
gentle on the surface of his thoughts his body floats
unweighed down by passion or intensity
yet unaware of the depth upon which he coasts
and he finds a home in me
for what misfortune sows, he knows my touch will reap

and all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
and my winter giving way to warm, as i'm singing him to sleep

all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
and my winter giving way to warm, as i'm singing him to sleep

all my armour falling down, in a pile at my feet
and my winter giving way to warm, as i'm singing him to sleep

laura f

quote of the day: from 'girlfriend in a coma' douglas coupland:

"destiny is what we work toward. the future doesn't exist yet. fate is for losers."

i feel like a bag of mixed coloured candy. or marbles. or something like that.
part of me is full of bliss. happy with motherhood. with my friends. with things to look forward to in october.
a visit from my best friend. a concert. halloween.
good stuff.
but there is parts of me that are so tired. frustrated. a little bit lost.
i'm tired of the struggle. constantly doing without. barely having enough money to get by with.
sick of being in a job that is so unfullfilling.
i'm sick of trying to keep things going. wearing the optimist mask. trying to be the cheerleader. the motivator. the caretaker.
the everything to everybody. all the time.
i've been doing it all for so long i don't quite know how to pull back. how to change.
and i sit and make excuses for it all. i know i do.
i stand up, step up on it - the ladder of defenses.
but, inside i see all the facts. i know them. how could i not?
and some of the answers hurt to much to recognize clearly. so i fold them up neatly. slide them into the back of the drawer.
hope that someday i can reach back and see them in the light. wear them. deal with them.

i wonder, do we all have these conflictions?
does it ever become more clear?

i miss so many things. things i can't name. things i don't even recognize, anymore.
and, yet, i love so many things that are here, in my here and now.
i love the life i have. the family around me.
but, sometimes i think i'd be okay without some of it. that i'd be better.
and i hate myself when i think of it.
or maybe i just try to hate myself.
i bury the thoughts so quickly that there is no time to really react.

i'm not sure how to make this better. how to look through the coloured marbles in the bag. see through them.
make some sense of this jangled mess.

thank you music. and friends. and beautiful girls to come home to.
books and films. little obsessions.
things to lose myself in, temporarily.
but, i'm not very good at getting lost, anymore.

it just doesn't feel like me,
anymore.

laura f

keen website of the day: http://www.morriscenter.org/

where i'm going to see counting crows with jen on october 15!
i am so excited!

from the site:
Tuesday, October 15, 2002

the counting in concert
8:00 pm show time - few bands in recent years have gotten bigger faster than the folk-rock group counting crows. since their 1993 debut album "august and everything after", the counting crows have been embraced by millions of listeners looking for thoughtful, mature rock. performing some of their past hits like "mr. jones" and "round here" as well as songs from their recently released album "hard candy", the band may surprise with some cover songs not heard before.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

laura f

lyrics for today: more from alanis. 'precious illusions' alanis morissette

you'll rescue me, right
in the exact same way they never did
i'll be happy, right
when your healing powers kick in

you'll complete me, right
then my life can finally begin
i'll be worthy, right
only when you realize the gem i am

but this won't work now the way it once did
and i won't keep it up even though i would love to
once i know who i'm not, then i'll know who i am
but i know i won't keep on playing the victim

these precious illusions in my head
did not let me down when i was defenseless
and parting with them
is like parting with invisible best friends

this ring will help me yet
as will you knight in shining armor
this pill will help me yet
as will these boys gone through like water

but this won't work as well as the way it once did
cuz i want to decide between survival and bliss
and though i know who I'm not i still don't know who i am
but i know i won't keep on playing the victim

these precious illusions in my head
did not let me down when i was a kid
and parting with them
is like parting with a childhood best friend

i've spent so long firmly looking outside me
i've spent so much time living in survival mode

but this won't work now the way it once did
cuz i want to decide between survival and bliss
though i know who i'm not i still don't know who i am
but i know i won't keep on playing the victim

these precious illusions in my head
did not let me down when I was defenseless
and parting with them
is like parting with invisible best friends

these precious illusions in my head
did not let me down when i was a kid
and parting with them
is like parting with a childhood best friend

laura f

quote of the day: from sandra bernhard interview 'the mouth that roared' in summer 2002 issue of women who rock (on motherhood):

"there are many good things about being a mother. i think for me, personally, the best thing has been to learn a lot more patience just in general with life and knowing that you can't rush things along. when you have a kid, you have to wait: wait for them to get ready and wait for them to figure it out. it's really hard for me; it's one of the big corrections in my life, to have patience. it just fills up my whole life on another level of love and light that i've never experienced before."

this or that: the name's the same, almost...

from: http://www.ailurophile.com/oldstuph/001098.shtml#001098

1. tom hanks or tom cruise?

tom hanks for 'philadelphia', tom cruise for 'vanilla sky'

2. julia roberts or julia stiles?

julia stiles, especially for '10 things i hate about you' (a guilty pleasure *grin*)

3. kevin costner or kevin spacey?

kevin spacey!!!! love love love him.

4. ben afflick or ben stiller?

ben stiller. especially for 'the ben stiller show', 'reality bites', 'mystery men' + 'permanent midnight'. ben affleck *only* in kevin smith films. *only*.

5. sean connery or sean penn?

sean penn, especially in 'sweet and lowdown', 'fast times at ridgemont high', 'racing with the moon', 'at close range', 'hurlyburly'

6. jennifer lopez or jennifer aniston?

jennifer aniston, for more than just 'friends'.

7. courtney love or courtney cox-arquette?

courtney love!

8. sarah michelle gellar or sarah jessica parker?

sarah michelle gellar for 'buffy' + 'cruel intentions'.

9. michael douglas or mike myers?

mike myers for 'so i married an axe murderer' + micheal douglas for 'wonder boys'.

10. nicole kidman or (anna) nicole smith?

nicole kidman for 'moulin rouge', *only*.

laura f

keen website of the day: http://buyolympia.com

voodoo monkeys - beware their power!
keen purses, art, t-shirts, music.
plus, you can't help but want to sing "well i went to school in olympia..." ;)

laura f

lyrics for today: 'hand in my pocket' alanis morissette

i'm broke but i'm happy
i'm poor but i'm kind
i'm short but i'm healthy, yeah

i'm high but i'm grounded
i'm sane but i'm overwhelmed
i'm lost but i'm hopeful, baby

what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving a high five

i feel drunk but i'm sober
i'm young and i'm underpaid
i'm tired but i'm working, yeah

i care but i'm restless
i'm here but i'm really gone
i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be quite alright
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is flicking a cigarette

and what it all comes down to
is that i haven't got it all figured out just yet
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving the peace sign

i'm free but i'm focused
i'm green but i'm wise
i'm hard but i'm friendly, baby

i'm sad but i'm laughing
i'm brave but i'm chickenshit
i'm sick but i'm pretty, baby

and what it all boils down to
is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is playing the piano

and what it all comes down to my friends
is that everything's just fine fine fine
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is hailing a taxi cab...

laura f

quote of the day: from margaret cho interview 'the cho must go on' in september 2002 issue of movieline (on hollywood fashion):

"hollywood style stopped being interesting when cher quite wearing crazy crap. in the late '80s, everything sort of froze. i'm more of the outrageous bob mackie school. hollywood women, apart from bjork and madonna, dress so boringly and the guys are always dressed dully. actors should revert to tribal customs in which the men wore brightly colored feathers."

'the silence in words'

the air around me drifts, encircles me,
i feel the chill deep into my veins,
even though you've closed the vents, locked them tight,
trying ever so to keep me warm.

and your voice trickles down the walls, languid and dismayed,
but i can't hear you anymore, i just see the movement of language, drifting.

we are amongst the lucky few, coupled and locked together,
in our hands are held beauty and promise, new life,
but between us we trip and stumble, trying to reach out our fingertips,
collapsing with the effort of just breathing in the same air.

and my silence screams loud, echoing off of everything you wish i had said,
you see the shadow stretch across the sheets, the door opening.

my god, i wish there was more than words to say.

maybe we could invent a new way of speaking,
without lips or eyes,
without promises,
maybe we could sew the holes up, intwine our doubts,
let them mute each other, senseless, sensible.
with and without.

you draw the x's on your eyes,
i tighten the rope between us,
and we float on. go on. despite.

despite it all.

laura f

keen website of the day: http://eat.epicurious.com/

i've been in a trying new recipes kind of mood. i'd love to take a cooking class, but until i can afford + fit that in, i'll utilize sites like this.
i found a great greek salad here today, i fancy i'll give it a shot this weekend.
weekends are when i enjoy cooking. when there is that time to really enjoy it.

laura f

lyrics for today: 'fear' sarah mclachlan

morning smiles
like the face of a newborn child,
innocent, unknowing.

winter's end
promises of a long lost friend.
speaks to me of comfort

but I fear
i have nothing to give.
i have so much to loose here in this lonely place.
tangled up in your embrace
there's there's nothing i'd like better than to fall.
but i fear i have nothing to give.

wind in time
rapes the flower trembling on the vine
and nothing yields to shelter it from above.
they say temptation will destroy our love.
the never ending hunger

but i fear
i have nothing to give
i have so much to loose here in this lonely place
tangled up in our embrace
theres nothing Iid like better than to fall
but i fear i have nothing to give.
i have so much to loose.
i have nothing to give.

we have so much to lose...

laura f

quote of the day: from 'one' by richard bach

"how many times we'd wished we'd had more bodies! just a few more bodies, and we could go and stay at once. we could live quietly in the wilderness to watch the sun rise in peace, to tame the wildlife, to garden and live close to the earth, and at the same time we could be city-folk crushing into crowds and being crushed by them, going to lectures and giving them. we lack enough bodies to meet people every hour and at the sam time be alone together, to build bridges and retreats at once, to learn every new language, to master every skill, to study and practice and teach everything we'd like to know and do, to work till we drop and to do nothing at all."

laura f

i would love mondays if they were always like this.
day off from work. the weather feeling like it's autumn, and not still summer.
new counting crows album playing. i'm singing along to 'carriage' right now. such a good album.
and adam duritz is dreamy. yes, he is.
i'm cooking a recipe my friend elizabeth sent to me, and baking pot pies. yum.
i feel creative. i feel rested. i feel pretty damn good.

laura f

keen website of the day: sept. 2 :D

http://www.reprodepotfabrics.com

i love the look. the style. the clothing.
much of it reminds me of things my grandmother had. fabrics. the way things looked that came out of her cedar chest.
i used to love to open that chest. i can still smell that wood fragrance. feel the fabrics and cloths between my fingers. see the button-eyed dolls. the ceramics. the memories.

laura f

website of the day: here in my head amazing tori site. daily updates.
lots of information about tori's soon-to-be released album, 'scarlet's walk'

http://www.hereinmyhead.com

laura f

lyrics for today: 'gold dust' tori amos

gold dust

sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

i was here
i was here

whipping past
the reflecting pool
me and you
skipping school

and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up we
go along

you said -
you raced from langley -
pulling me underneath
a cherry blossom
canopy
-do i have-
of course i have,
beneath my raincoat,
i have your photographs.
and the sun on your
face
i'm freezing that frame

and somewhere alfie cries
and says "enjoy his every smile
you can see in the dark
through the eyes of laura mars"
how did it go so fast
you'll say
as we are looking
back
and then we'll
understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

sights and sounds
pull me back down
another year

i was here
i was here

gaslights
glow in the street
(flickering past)
twilight held us
in her palm
as we walked along

and we make it up
as we go along
we make it up as we go along

letting names
hang in the
air
what color hair
(auburn crimson)
autumn knowingly
stared
and the day that
she came
i'm freezing that
frame
i'm freezing that frame

and somewhere alfie
smiles
and says "enjoy her
every cry
you can see in the
dark
through the eyes
of laura mars"

how did it go so
fast
you'll say as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
in our
hands

in our
hands

laura f

i'm in a random mood.

'almost famous' is quickly becoming one of my all-time favourite movies. i watched it this afternoon.
dave spotted it on, on cable, and came and got me.
he said "i know you love this one."

he's right. i do.

i love it more with every viewing.
i lose myself in it. take in the characters and the music. the magic.
penny lane. the enemy. 'no more airplanes tour'. 'tiny dancer'. "don't do drugs!"
love it.

veronica is making more sounds + smiles. we say "hi" to her all the time, and you can see her trying to say it. moving her mouth in the way we do. little sounds coming out. the surprise on her face when sound creeps out of her lips is simply priceless.

the first + a sunday.
for those who know me, they'll know how much i love the duo of that.

julia is starting a zine. it is going to be called 'safety pin'. she has been working on it all weekend. writing poetry. drawing a comic. coming up with a "zine mascot". so much creativity!

"you are home." penny lane.

yes, i am. and tonight home feels wonderful.

laura f